So as I laid down not being able to sleep again! I realized that I use a lot of excuses to hide the things I do to myself. I will feign stomach aches to not eat. I will not finish food claiming I'm full. I will claim, as gross as this is, that I'm constipated to take laxatives. I love laxatives!! I've lost 2-4 lbs in one day every time I do it. I'm drawn to it. That is a hard fight to not do it everyday.
I wish that I didn't have these fights. I don't want my daughter to feel this way about food or herself. I don't want my husband to know all the stuff I do. He already knows I have problems but I don't think he understands the full extent. It upsets him and last time he started suggesting that I should go see a counselor.
To be so Lucky!!
...to be so thin
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